ESPN: The World Wide Leader in Pissing Me Off

Here's what really grinds my gears: ESPN. Why on earth would I say such a heinous thing? Sports lovers tune into the network and its bastard children all the time. So does this mean I hate sports? No, it means I think ESPN has become a piece of shit. My reasonings? Well, read on, my good readers:

1. Could any network pick more favorites than ESPN? I mean, seriously. ESPN has such a big bias it's not even funny. It picks favorites and then reports on them endlessly, thinking everyone wants to hear about the same crap they continue to spew.

"Hey, I'm gonna turn on Sportscenter and try to get some Cubs highlights. The Yankees and Red Sox are playing each other this weekend? Oh, fuck me. I guess I'm gonna have to sit through 45 mintues of debates as to which team is better."

"Yea, I wanna know what happened in the Devils game. Kobe Bryant has a cold? Oh well, I guess they're gonna talk about that for at least 20 minutes."

"TO said something? Oh great. I can forget about trying to watch ESPN at all tonight."

2. Talk about a load of boring. Some of these anchors are crap. Hell, I'll admit that when Dan Patrick and Kenny Mayne were the two head honchos, ESPN and Sportscenter weren't terrible. Now, every night it seems like there is a new anchor I've never heard of and they all SUCK. At this point, I'd rather have "Boom goes the dynamite" kid instead.

3. If the anchors are worse, the announcers for games aren't any better. Cmon, something has to be said for a network that still employs Joe Morgan even though he sucks at life. Jesus, the man is bad at announcing and hates statistics. I'm sure he's threatened sabermetricians' lives before. He's just bad at calling games.

4. Stephen A Smith is terrible.

5. Around the Horn is terrible.

Need I say more? ESPN might have once been good, but it's now terrible. I only watch it now if there's a game on. And even then, I put the TV on mute so I don't have to hear the baaaad announcers. ESPN just plain sucks.