Pacman Jones Apparently Will Not Get His Party On

Well, I guess I should take my #3 goal off of my personal Bucket List

3. Make it Rain with Pacman Jones

Thanks to the good people at Fanhouse, we have learned that Pacman Jones will not be at the National Street League's Grey Goose party.

"The party's still going on, but Pacman's party's been canceled," said the man who talked to Michael David Smith.

I don't know about the rest of you. But I was going to go to the party for Pacman, but stay for Young Spoaty.

I'm also not shocked at this because today Pacman was on the Michael Irvin Show and dropped this bombshell.

"I cannot say ever, ever ... But I can say they won't see me [in strip clubs] for the next three or four years."

What will our single mothers who are just looking to get back on their feet do now? Without Pacman's constant downpour of one dollar bills, our economy will continue to go into a tailspin, the value of the dollar will plummet and we'll be forced into another Depression.

I call it the "Make it Rain Effect."

Also, three or four years before going to a strip club again. Seriously? The man just can't stay away can he? He's got a stripper pole in his house, he went to a strip club the night before his meeting with Roger Goodell and now he's just going to take a three or four year break. You might want to forget playing for Dallas because Pac, you just don't get it. It's quite simple so let me break it down for you.

STAY OUT OF STRIP CLUBS!

That's it. No more making it rain, no more punching girls in the face and starting riots that leave a man paralyzed (allegedly.) All you have to do is stay home, keep your head down, follow the terms of your suspension and you're golden.

Nope. Too hard for you. You've lied to Goodell, you've lied to Jeff Fisher, you've lied to your fans and you've burnt every bridge you've crossed.

You have a daughter at home, be there for her. I hope you really turn your life and your career around, but it's sad to say that you probably never will. And that's a shame.

Fanhouse: Pacman Jones Is Not Having A Party

Fanhouse: Pacman Jones Won't Ever Visit A Strip Club Again...for Three or Four Years