8:53 p.m: David Cook sucks. The Lakers should be shot for having this joker sing our national anthem.
8:57 p.m: Then make up for it with a great presentation with a projection on a massive screen set to "Ain't No Love (Heart of the City) by Jay Z.
8:59 p.m: "And so it continues...."- ABC intro. Epic.
9:03 p.m: Three finals games. Three really bad Doc Rivers pregame speeches.
9:08 p.m: Lamar Scrotum with a quick foul. He sucks.
9:13 p.m: Lakers taking it strong to the rack, been getting some offensive rebounds and Kobe got to the line.
9:14 p.m: Garnett is building a house with these bricks. 0/3, continuing his struggles from the field. Rondo with a reach and Kobe's right back to the line.
9:15 p.m: Celtics haven't scored a basket in almost four minutes. Fisher with a nice strip and Allen fouls Kobe before he can slam it on his head. Timeout Boston. Lakers 9, Celtics 2.
9:20 p.m: Scrotum picks up his second foul. God he's horrendous.
9:21 p.m: Kobe just got mugged on that play by Rondo. No call.
9:22 p.m: Pretty fadeaway by Kobe.
9:23 p.m: Scrotum finally taking a seat on the pine. Bout time.
9:24 p.m: Our first half-hearted Boston Sucks chant.
9:25 p.m: Shuttlesworth picks up his second foul and he's headed to the bench.
9:26 p.m: Kobe just got called for the steps and he's not happy.
9:27 p.m: Kevin Garnett's having a party. What kind of party? A block party. Who's invited? Everybody.
9:28 p.m: Radmanovich picks up his third foul and he's on the bench looking like he's been shot. Timeout Lakers. Lakers 17, Boston 14.
9:33 p.m: Garnett and Pierce: 0/9 shooting and they're only down one. Uh oh.
9:35 p.m: Sam "I've never seen a jumpshot I haven't liked" Cassell puts the Celtics up two.
9:37 p.m: There's some sort of disagreement between the Lakers and Joe Crawford and he's really giving it to Kobe. No means no Kobe.
9:38 p.m: Posey airballs a three at the buzzer and we're through one. Game is tied at 20.
9:44 p.m: Cassell just keeps on chucking. Four shots, three minutes. Note to Doc: STOP PLAYING THIS LOSER. You do have Eddie House ya know.
9:46 p.m: Puke Walton misses an easy bunny. Guy has has one good game in his career.
9:47 p.m: Every Laker touches the ball on a pretty possession ending with a three by Vujacic and a BANG! by Mike Breem.
9:48 p.m: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! Farmar and PJ Brown almost go toe to toe after Brown fouls Farmar. Then Farmar realized he'd get his ass kicked and thought better of it.
9:51 p.m: Double techs on Brown and Farmar. I say let em fight. Forget the halftime show. Just a couple rounds of bareknuckle boxing.
9:54 p.m: Kobe with the pretty scoop layin in traffic. Looked like he might have traveled.
9:56 p.m: Ray Allen brings the alley and Kevin Garnett brings the oop. Pretty play. Timeout Lakers. Lakers 34, Celtics 27
10:00 p.m: Everyone who used to be anyone is in attendance. I'm looking at you Eddie Murphy and Sly Stallone. Also I think Van Gundy wants to have sex with Wall-E.
10:02 p.m: Kobe drills another shot. 19 points for Kobe.
10:02 p.m: "Pierce gets Bryant up."- Mike Breem. Tee hee.
10:03 p.m: Kendrick Perkins fouls Gasol. Perkins is still the angriest man on Earth.
10:04 p.m: Gasol has one point. Way to be Pau.
10:04 p.m: Perkins with a slam and a primal roar. I think he's still angry.
10:05 p.m: Pierce picks up his third foul and are in the penalty.
10:09 p.m: Kobe called for a tech for complaining. Celtics miss the shot.
10:10 p.m: "We're still gonna win the game."- Doc "Ass of the Century" Rivers.
10:11 p.m: Our second Boston Sucks chant.
10:14 p.m: Gasol is softer than Charmin. Too scared to make a move on the last possession and it lead to a bad pass. Then he misses an easy bunny in traffic. Timeout on the floor. Lakers 43, Boston 34.
10:18 p.m: Halftime. Lakers 43, Boston 37. Kobe won't say shit to Michelle Tafoya, who looks like a cow about to be hit by a train, she has no idea what to do.
10:45 p.m: Wow, worst continuation call in the history of basketball. Perkins with the bucket and the foul. Radmanovich has four.
10:45 p.m: Perkins misses. Ball don't lie.
10:46 p.m: Allen cuts it to four points.
10:47 p.m: Rondo is coming back to the game with a slight limp after tweaking his ankle. Timeout Lakers. LA 47, Boston 43.
10:53 p.m: Eddie House drills a three and it's a two point game. You could hear a pin drop at Staples right now.
10:54 p.m: Garnett drills a deuce and we're tied.
10:55 p.m: Garnett again and the Celtics lead. Pierce picks up his fourth foul and Kobe's going to the stripe.
10:56 p.m: Shuttlesworth hits a three and the Lakers call timeout. Celtics up 54-50.
11:00 p.m: Scrotum hits a jumper, his first of the game and the Laker fans let him know what they think.
11:02 p.m: Farmar throws a bad pass that somehow leads to a Lakers bucket.
11:04 p.m: Kobe hits a pretty shot over Allen. Damn.
11:06 p.m: Timeout on the floor. Celtics up 61-58.
11:07 p.m: Hey there's Tobey McGuire, what a loser.
11:08 p.m: Gasol hits his first shot of the game and the Lake Show goes down two.
11:09 p.m: End of three. Celtics 62, Lakers 60.
11:13 p.m: Vujacic hits a three and the Lakers take the lead.
11:14 p.m: Allen answers with a three of his own.
11:17 p.m: Scrotum picks up his fourth. God he's garbage.
11:19 p.m: Why are these moron Laker fans chanting MVP while this guy's shooting big foul shots. He missed the first and almost punted the ball he was so angry.
11:20 p.m: Farmar draws a charge on Pierce and that's his fifth.
11:21 p.m: Timeout on the floor. Celtics lead 66-64
11:26 p.m: Vujacic hits a two to tie it. If this were NBA Jam, he'd be on fire.
11:27 p.m: Posey hits two foul shots to tie it.
11:28 p.m: Finally, Rondo's back in the game.
11:29 p.m: Kobe drills a wide open three pointer and the Lakers lead by one.
11:30 p.m: Fisher hits two big foul shots and the Lakers go up three.
11:31 p.m: Kobe demands the rock and just draws the foul off the dribble and hits two more to go up five. 7-0 run.
11:33 p.m: Gasol decides not to be invisible and puts the Lakers up 9.
11:33 p.m: Pierce gives a stiff arm to a Laker defender and there's no call and then Pierce gets hacked and there's no call. Timeout Lakers.75-70 Lakers. Hilarious reaction by Jack Nicholson as we go to break.
11:37 p.m: Scrotum misses a jam and Gasol tips it in.
11:38 p.m: Pierce....AND THE FOUL!
11:39 p.m: ....and he chokes.
11:41 p.m: Kobe picks up a blatant foul and starts whining. Timeout on the floor. 78-72 Lakers.
11:45 p.m: Pierce hits both from the stripe and it's a four point game.
11:45 p.m: Gasol just throws the ball at the hoop and by the hoop, I mean over the backboard. It was brutal. Gasol did get mauled though.
11:46 p.m: Vujacic hits a big three in the corner and it's a five point game.
11:47 p.m: Pierce misses a shot in traffic and Garnett misses a tip. Fisher draws a foul on the other end.
11:51 p.m: Kobe just drills a jumper and it's a seven point game. Eddie House comes right down and nails a three.
11:52 p.m: Kobe just pumpfaked Shuttlesworth out of his shoes and hits the pretty shot in the paint. Timeout Boston, it's their last. Lakers up 6.
11:53 p.m: Lakers just played amazing D leading to an illegal screen on Garnett.
11:54 p.m: WHAT THE FUCK LAMAR ODOM?! Guy can run out the clock and he goes for a jam and gets called for an offensive. He's lucky the game was out of reach. Game over. Lakers win 87-81.
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